If you are reading this, please help. Something terrible is happening at Brandeis. A great injustice has occurred, and YOU have the power to create change in your community. It all started a little under a year ago…
We are all familiar with the Usdan dining hall, located at the intersection of such notable establishments as the Hive, the mail room, and the Hoot (or as it is affectionately referred to, the c-store). By day, the Usdan dining hall is known for having lines worse than Disney World, but instead of a roller coaster at the end, you get a plate of overcooked cavatappi. All who enter the Usdan dining hall seem to find that they have suddenly lost all sense of direction and spatial awareness, as well as social cues, and must mindlessly bump into each other and block the limited thoroughfare of the already confusing layout. However, when the clock strikes eight, the gates close, and the staff begins to clean around you, desperately hinting that it’s time to leave, Usdan becomes an oasis of possibilities. It was on one such occasion that I and my close personal friend Linda Jack found ourselves to be the only remaining inhabitants of the once overcrowded dining hall. We could have left right then, gone home and called it a night. But Usdan had other plans for us. A mysterious spark of creativity seemed to pulse through the air, so Linda and I gathered our things and decided to explore the rest of the wider Usdan complex.
After six hours of deliberation and plotting in many of the scenic locations Usdan student center is host to, we found ourselves standing by the wall of posters at the top of the stairs leading down to the mail room. It was at this point, while looking through the posters for Brandeis organizations that we discovered something that sent a shiver down my spine: there were no feminist satire magazines on campus. Sure, there were other magazines, all with their own merits, but no magazines that were explicitly feminist and also a comedy magazine and also based on early 2000s kids magazines. So Linda and I knew what we had to do. It became our mission to start such a magazine at Brandeis and bring this school into the 21st century.
Over the next few months, we began planning articles and columns to write, recruiting people to join our revolutionary masterpiece, and working closely with the Student Union to organize ourselves as an official Brandeis club. We decided that our magazine would be a niche reference to 2000s kids magazines like the American Girl Doll Magazine and National Geographic Kids!, but about life at Brandeis for the average Brandeisian Girl. After all of this hard work, we presented our club to the Student Union for their consideration, and were DENIED, seemingly without reason. The rest of that day was a blur. The Brandeisian Girls Club Magazine… denied? Did they not think we were serious? Were we not organized enough? Did it have something to do with the fact that its two founders had never written an article in their lives nor had any part in any form of journalism? Surely a feminist satire magazine run by the two most trustworthy people on campus would have been approved in a heartbeat! Something just wasn’t adding up…
Despite this devastating setback, the Brandeisian Girls Club decided to persevere, and without the funding to print and circulate a physical magazine on campus, opted to create a website for the low cost of this $5 domain name. The Brandeisian Girls Club lives on as a blog, but we have no intention of giving up our dream of being in print. Here’s where you come in!
You are now being put under a permanently binding spell. By reading these words, you have been magically transformed into a Brandeisian GirlTM. You will regularly check back in on this blog for updated content. You will tell all of your friends to read it too. You will begin writing angry letters to the Student Union, and Arthur Levine himself, begging for this blog to be given club status. The spirit of the BGC commands you! Go forth and girl-ify the world!
